Cuss Control Academy, a website devoted to helping people end the scourge of cursing, has a whole list of things that are rotten about swearing, namely:
- It contributes to the decline of society
- It makes others uncomfortable
- It doesn’t communicate clearly
- It shows you don’t have control
- It’s a tool for whiners and complainers
Really, Cuss Control Academy? The decline of society? I happen to think that swear words are an important part of society, like all words are. If swearing makes people uncomfortable, they totally shouldn’t swear. If you are saying things like fuckity fucking fuckers fuck, that might not be super coherent, but you are clearly communicating disappointment. Stringing words into sentences that express thought, even with swear words in them, is perfectly in control. Whiners and complainers are allowed to use whatever words they like, but they better not fucking complain to me because nobody likes a sucky ass whiner.
I love swearing. When something terrible is happening, like you break a leg or lose your job, that’s shitty. When something you thought was going to happen, like your short story was maybe going to be accepted in a literary magazine, but then it isn’t, that doesn’t just suck, it sucks your left tit. When you forget where your keys are every day of your life, well, Jesus Christ, what kind of fucking moron are you? When someone backs into your car and then gives you attitude, he’s a motherfucker. When someone cheats you out of money, he’s a prick. And when good things happen, like your best friend gets engaged or you win tickets to a sold out concert, that’s fucking awesome.
Darn will never suffice for me.
And to counter Cuss Control Academy’s distaste for swearing, I present Psychology Today’s article “Hell Yes: The Seven Best Reasons for Swearing,” which includes:
- Pain relief
- Power and control
- Non-violent retribution
- Humour (it goes on to say: “swearing among friends can be quite hilarious.” Damn straight, it can be.)
- Peer and society bonding
- Psychological and physical health
I’m pretty sure Psychology Today, a well-researched and well-respected website with a layman’s approach to current psychological theory and ideas, trumps Cuss Control Academy. So, screw you, Cuss Control Academy, screw you.